Hi Everyone! I hope/pray today finds you well, blessed, and full of life.
In the Facebook flood following Robin Williams’ death something a cousin of mine posted really struck me. She wrote something to the effect of: Any of you who are struggling with depression, addiction, and the like, you are NOT alone. And you DON’T have to struggle through it alone, please call and/or ask for help. I think this is true, tragic, beautiful, and important all at once, so it got me thinking and I’d like to share some of those thoughts with you.
Robin Williams’ death (like pretty much all deaths) just plain sucks … AND we have the ability to bring something good from it. As has come to light since the tragedy, he struggled with depression. While I don’t know if it was THE reason for his suicide, I imagine it was almost certainly A reason. Further, obviously some people knew about it, but it doesn’t seem to have been a widely known issue for Robin. This makes me wonder: Would Robin Williams have died if it had been acceptable and permitted for him to freely talk about his depression with others? Would bringing it into the light more fully (I don’t pretend to know how much he did) have helped bring it him a significant measure of healing?
I’m convinced that bringing our struggles into the light by sharing them with others WILL bring healing. That’s not to say our addictions, depressions, anger, judgment, fears, etc. will magically disappear or go away, but that over time, sharing them with safe people will let us know we are NOT ALONE in our struggle(s) AND it will help us work THROUGH the struggle(s) AND it will give us a measure of peace IN the struggle(s). Let me put it this way, when the problem of me (one) is spoken and shared it becomes our (two) problem. It’s easier for two, or more, to carry a weight than it is for one. AND, because I’m a “bit” of a Jesus dork :), I can’t help but add if/when we bring God/Jesus into the mix, the weight of our struggle(s) becomes less and the healing deeper because me + you + Jesus = life-giving. Again, this is not to say the deal will magically go away, more to say we will be able to find life amidst it, as we work through it.
A fundamental reason for this healing process (because it IS a process, often a very long one) is what I’ll dub the “Me too” principle. A huge lie I’ve believed is I’m the ONLY one who struggles with my issue(s). YET, time and time and time again, when I share them with others, I find out I’m NOT. They say “me too” and/or they know someone who says “me too.” What is more, I think the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, i.e. God coming to us as a human to share our sorrows, joys, struggles, triumphs, pains, etc., is the Divine and Universal “Me too!” In Jesus, God tells each and every one of us in our struggles, “me too,” because God has also experienced all the frailties of our humanness. In other words, this, my friends, is a God who can relate to us!
Speaking of God and relationship, as i understand it, a very important (and repetitive) step/part of each of our development into whole and healthy individuals is to name and face our darkness. While this is specifically a part of our spiritual development and progression, spirituality (IMHO) is part and parcel to our whole selves, so I see naming and facing our darkness as a key aspect of what it means for each of us to mature and grow as humans. This likely begs the question: What is our darkness? I think our darkness is the places, chosen or not, that hold us back from loving ourselves, others, and God. With that in mind there are a whole host of possibilities. It can be a condition we DON’T choose, like depression, anxiety, neuroses, and the like. And/or it can be ways we lead our selves away from love, like addiction, judgment, anger, bitterness, mistrust, violence, and a host of other issues. A key, as I understand it, for us to be whole and healthy people is to search for, name (to ourselves, others, and God), and face the darkness that lies in each and every one of us.
To put some flesh on this I’d like to name an ongoing darkness in myself I’ve been working through … well, actually I really DON’T want to name it because I want you to think I’m a great person … but I will for the sake of healing and illustration. My current darkness is I’ve recently found myself super judgmental of people who have hurt me, knowingly or unknowingly. I theoretically wish good things for them and success and the like, but if/when I see or hear about success (which can be as simple as friends loving and hanging out with them) it bums me out. Why? Because some dark part of me wants “them” to “suffer” for the “wrong(s)” they did to me. I HATE THAT I THINK THIS! Yet, ignoring it won’t heal it. So, I’m choosing to bring it into the light, because experience and believes have shown me naming issues to others and bringing them into the light is healing.
To wrap up here’s my hope. Can we all start to, bit by bit, be more real with each other? Can we name our darkness to others and God? Can we be a safe and nonjudgmental person/place for others to name their darkness? Can we work through our ugly bits instead of ignoring them? If we do, I think we will honor Robin Williams and bring something good from this tragedy. What do you think?
If you enjoyed the blog you can sign up on the right for email notifications for future blogs I write, or check out the most recent blogs here. Also, I have a Facebook site named “Beautiful and Broken Becoming Beautiful” where I post encouraging words on living love that I’d love for you to “like.”
Grace and peace,
Lang
If Grace is an Ocean We're All Drowning 
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